10 Things I Wish My Baby Would Understand

It seems I spend much of my time as a Dad trying to tell N something, stop him doing something or help him to do something. All parents are the same of course. At seven months he’s just starting to discover things and do things he hasn’t done before which is fantastic. However, it means the word ‘no’ comes out a lot more as you will see…

I Wish He Understood…

“No, don’t grab my hot drink. No, I just asked you to not grab my hot drink. Hot hot hot. No really, you’ll hurt your hand…”

“Look, you’ve turned over front to back many times before. You can do it yourself. No, flinging your arms out wide and whinging won’t get you there.” Of course it does as I eventually get fed up and turn him over. Clever boy!

“Oh you’ve discovered that have you. No, don’t play with it as I change your nappy. Look, your hand is getting in the way now”

“Yes, that’s called shadow on the wall there. No you can’t grab it. No, you really can’t grab it. Trying to turn and grab the shadow while I change your nappy makes things difficult little man!“

“There is really no need to whinge as you’re fed solid food you know. We see you like it, yes you love yoghurts I know. Still, why are you moaning while we feed you? Are we taking too long?”

*puts bib on and muslin* “Why are you whinging now? Why were you happy and then all of a sudden started crying? You know it’s coming as I’ve just put the bib on you. Just hang on it’s coming. No, I’ve got to take the lid off first!”

“Why are you trying to sit up now while I’m feeding you your bottle? You clearly haven’t finished. Ok, go on then.” *sits up and cries* “Well why did you sit up then?”

“Aww you rubbing your eyes? Are you tired? Let’s put you to bed then.” *moan moan moan* “What? You’re tired. Just go to sleep! You’re in bed, new nappy on, nicely fed. If you just go to sleep everything will be ok. No, bashing yourself on the head doesn’t help!“

“Now I know you enjoy going forwards in your walker and that you can’t go backwards (reminds me of a Star Trek song…Klingons on the starboard bow… ahem, anyway…), but it doesn’t mean that when you get stuck next to the bin that you should start rifling through it“

“Whether you like it or not young man you are going in the car seat. No, sticking your elbows out wide and leaning forward will not stop the inevitable. It’s better for you to be safe!”

So there you so. Maybe it’s not all babies (the third one only applies to 50% of the population!) but they certainly apply to N!